She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
