What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Text me some of your sweat
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
