He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
