Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
