Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize