Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
