How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
