And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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