either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
