yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Congratulations! We have a period
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