so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
