Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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