I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
