This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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