you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
