I faked an abortion last night.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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