no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
