So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
