guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
