i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
