a queef is a wish your heart makes.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
