are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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