They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
my liver is dry heaving
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
