My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
well you can't waste a boner
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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