my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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