when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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