I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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