Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
