i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
