Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
