tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
How does it feel to date your dad?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
