I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
