Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
