we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
