More tranny stories later!
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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