you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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