I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
