I'm lost and stupid without you.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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