yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
