normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
