how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Girls should come with a carfax report
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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