Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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