I cockslap morals
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
