just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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