Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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