I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
