So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
