You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My liver just broke up with me...
If that was your dad, he is hot
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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