Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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