Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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