I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize