But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
