She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
home. puking in laundry basket.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
