She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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