i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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