Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize