if you like me you must not know who I am
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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