My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize