Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
