is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
